Dave's Joke Journal

************ "The One's" Birth Certificate **************
************ Don't mess with old folks (Judy Hensley) ************

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.
As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,
"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

*************** An Inspirational Golf Story... (Bob Owen) ***************

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.
At first I said, "Naaahhh! I already play 3 times a week."
Then they said to me "Come on, it's for handicapped and blind kids."
Then I thought... HELL, I could win this thing.

************* Bob Minarik on Beer *************

************* Obamamobile (Joe Ruisi) ************
In a special news conference yesterday, Government Motors (GM) announced its new concept car... the 2010 Obamamobile...
This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two Teleprompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.
The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the "happy" democrat owners.

************ Maxine on the inauguration (Joe Ruisi) ***********

It seems that once again all us white folks have missed a great opportunity.
While the black people attended Obama's inauguration and parades, we should have broken into their homes and gotten all our stuff back.

*********** SERIOUS virus WARNINGS ***********

If you receive an email and the subject line reads: : "Nude pictures of Sarah Palin enclosed"... DO NOT open it because it contains a virus that will destroy your hard drive.

If you receive an email and the subject line reads: : "Nude pictures of Nancy Pelosi enclosed"... DO NOT open it because it contains nude pictures of Nancy Pelosi.